I consider myself and the world to be 2 different entities. The problem with me and the this world has been
The state of my complete ignorance about myself when I was a young boy
Vs
The effort by this world to tell me who I am and how I should behave
The problem here was my tough resistance to the world.
I wished they would not assume things about me. I feel, they would recognise what my condition was, but they wouldnt. Because of the current world's knowledge of what it is, they would just stereotype me. I was clearly unaware and confused by their assumptions and would wonder about what was wrong with me in the eyes of these people. Thought I was unaware about what their thoughts were, I was beginning to become aware of myself.
The problem was, they were as ignorant as me about why certain things are the way they are, but they were the majority! They would not / never understand what I was going through or had gone through, or what had made me become what I was. Because of their arrogance in being certain that they know what I am, they would shrug off any intelligent discussion about this.
Two of the most powerful things in society today, Science and Religion, have still not found out what makes me what I am, or rather what does not make me what I am.
The sad fact is I dont have an audience. People think I am just copying things from somewhere else. But my thoughts are as pure and original as can be. My thoughts and ideas have been with me since I was a kid. Whereas I had exposure to the internet only 5 years back, since 1999. I was quite surprised to see that may websites were discussing things which were in my mind, but which I had never spoken to anyone about. This clearly meant that there was some truth in what I feel about myself. However, the world is filled with people who dont believe what I feel. And I feel I am no one.
I cannot bring about an understanding in the entity which has caused me nothing but despair. My strengh is no match when it comes to the might of sophisticated ignorance.